The "R" Word

Hi, all.  I started this post a couple weeks ago and have been struggling to finish it.

I have always found the "r" word (if you haven't guessed, I am referring to the word "retarded") degrading.  I began to hear it more often in middle school as friends used it as a way to flippantly brush aside moments of bad judgement or clumsiness.  It was "cool" to use this word because you could turn your every misstep into a joke.  I will, ashamedly, admit that I did slip into this habit a few times.  But, each time I casually used that word I felt revolted.  I knew that I was disrespecting a group of people who are already so often disrespected and deserve the dignity afforded to each human being.  I decided I would never use the "r" word.

It continued to bother me when others used it so casually.  But, what was I to say?  I didn't know how to politely point out that it was a rather degrading thing to do.  So, I just kept my mouth shut and retained my own principles.  Then, I had James.  My beautiful baby boy.  I saw firsthand what people were referring to when they used the "r" word.  But still, what do you say to politely point out that the "r" word is less than kind even if you don't mean it personally?

Here to finish what I started is a beautifully written letter by a young man with Down Syndrome to Ann Coulter who so frequently throws the word around on air.

An Open Letter to Ann Coulter

Posted on October 23, 2012by Tim Shriver

John Franklin Stephens

The following is a guest post in the form of an open letter from Special Olympics athlete and global messenger John Franklin Stephens to Ann Coulter after this tweet during last night's Presidential debate.

Dear Ann Coulter,

Come on Ms. Coulter, you aren't dumb and you aren't shallow. So why are you continually using a word like the R-word as an insult?

I'm a 30 year old man with Down syndrome who has struggled with the public's perception that an intellectual disability means that I am dumb and shallow. I am not either of those things, but I do process information more slowly than the rest of you. In fact it has taken me all day to figure out how to respond to your use of the R-word last night.

I thought first of asking whether you meant to describe the President as someone who was bullied as a child by people like you, but rose above it to find a way to succeed in life as many of my fellow Special Olympians have.

Then I wondered if you meant to describe him as someone who has to struggle to be thoughtful about everything he says, as everyone else races from one snarkey sound bite to the next.

Finally, I wondered if you meant to degrade him as someone who is likely to receive bad health care, live in low grade housing with very little income and still manages to see life as a wonderful gift.

Because, Ms. Coulter, that is who we are - and much, much more.

After I saw your tweet, I realized you just wanted to belittle the President by linking him to people like me. You assumed that people would understand and accept that being linked to someone like me is an insult and you assumed you could get away with it and still appear on TV.

I have to wonder if you considered other hateful words but recoiled from the backlash.

Well, Ms. Coulter, you, and society, need to learn that being compared to people like me should be considered a badge of honor.

No one overcomes more than we do and still loves life so much.

Come join us someday at Special Olympics. See if you can walk away with your heart unchanged.

A friend you haven't made yet, 

John Franklin Stephens
Global Messenger
Special Olympics Virginia

Wow.  I couldn't have said it better.

With love.